The Power of Pheromones and Fragrance

Pheromones are natural substances produced by a fertile body that are transmitted externally. This airborne “message” acts as an aphrodisiac and may (or may not) appeal to the opposite sex.

Though pheromones are not technically scented, they evoke reactions similar to those that might occur if an actual fragrance were present. This occurs thanks to the Vomeronasal Organ, which is located in the nasal passage. It exists solely to detect pheromones, which are, in great part, responsible for the potential sexual attraction between two members of the same species.

Perfumed fragrances may not be produced by the human body, but they can evoke strong desires and emotions that can enhance attraction in the opposite sex. When a perfume has a scent that is commonly associated with a man’s libido, you have a greater likelihood of evoking desire. According to SpeedDate.com’s Sr. Communications Manager, Hannah Russin, “Studies show that men associate the scents of cinnamon and vanilla with love.” So if you’re looking for specific scents, choose a perfume laced with one of those scents.

Perfumes That Will Help Attract Men

Despite its scientific support, it’s no surprise that many beauty companies have capitalized on the great pheromone “phenomenon.” Though there is greater scientific proof of the pheromone’s success rate amongst insects and various animals, its irresistible promise of luring potential mates makes these perfumes much more popular than they would be otherwise. It’s no surprise, then, that they’re among some of the top women’s perfumes that attract men.

• Pheromone Perfume: This is the scent that started it all. Beauty entrepreneur Marilyn Miglin’s extensive research resulted in a heady blend of jasmine blossoms, tonka extract, wild grasses, exotic barks, rare wine resins and much more. Of course, it’s marketed as the “fragrance of love” and has spawned a variety of spinoff scents. In existence since 1979, it has remained a consistent favorite through the years.
• Lavanila Laboratories Vanilla Lavender: Though lavender is primarily associated with relaxation, it’s also thought to be one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs out there. Blended with sweet vanilla, it creates this intriguing love potion.
• Demeter Fragrances: If you’re in search of singular scents that aren’t blended with others, try Demeter. Their Pumpkin Pie fragrance is something of a classic now, with notes of pumpkin, sugar, cinnamon, clove and ginger creating an authentic aroma that just might turn his head. Likewise, you’re unlikely to find a black licorice-scented perfume anywhere else. Demeter’s Licorice scent is remarkably true to its name. You’ll also find singular lavender and vanilla scents here.
• Pure Romance Basic Instinct: This roll-on pheremone-laced perfume by leading relationship product company, Pure Romance, is unique in that it blends with each woman’s natural body scent to create a different, tantalizing smell. It can also be worn alone or blended with other fragrances.
• Master: The Master pheremone fragrance offered through Master & Mistress offers a blend of ylang-ylang and ginger scents, both known to be aphrodisiacs. The roll-on application guarantees you won’t waste a drop.

Sexy Scents

Each man will have individual preferences, and there are many perfumes a man may find attractive. In addition to cinnamon and vanilla, there are other ingredients that can be alluring. If you’re browsing perfumes for that perfect sexy scent, consider one with one of the following:

• Oak moss or mahogony wood: These woodsy ingredients provide a musky scent.
• Coriander or clove: These lend a slight spice to the perfume.
• Peach or orange blossom: These ingredients give off a light, innocent scent that can be alluring.
• Amber: Amber perfumes actually contain plant or animal extracts such as Benzoin, a sap of an Asian tree. This lends a rich exotic scent to the fragrance.

Putting It to the Test

At some point in your life, you’ll likely receive a compliment on your fragrance. Though studies do suggest that certain fragrances are more likely than others to attract a potential mate, that shouldn’t discourage you from wearing scents that you happen to love. So if you can’t stand the thought of smelling like vanilla or lavender, don’t fret – spray on what makes you feel your best and enjoy the confidence that comes along with that.

Do you remember the first time you encountered romance? You were young, hormones were flooding your system, and marriage was something that old people did because they were stupid. You would go out in groups, taking over malls and movie theaters and scaring the stupid old people. A night of trouble-making would sometimes culminate with making out on a best friend’s porch. Ah, those were the days.

But I would never trade those times for these. Nervous uncertainty has given way to confidence. Uncontrollable physical desire has been tempered by a more holistic appreciation of the object of my affections. Fooling around as a teenager cannot compare with the intense multi-dimensional feelings that I have shared with women as an adult.

Sometimes on this journey to emotional maturity we lose sight of what is truly important. We are trucking along, having a great time until we wake up one day, look in the mirror and scream “Oh No! I’m 30! Aaaaaaahhh!” “I want to get married, I want kids and I will only have emotionally mature relationships from now on!”

I recently went on a horrible date with a woman who I met online who I am sure had the “30 freak-out”.  Initially I really liked her, but I barely gave her a kiss hello before I was grilled about my life’s ambitions, my job, my income and an entire checklist of other questions. If we hadn’t met online I would have been a little more forgiving, but almost all of the information she sought after was available on my profile. The advantage of online dating is that you get a sneak peak at someone’s lifestyle and personality before you initiate conversation. On the actual date I just wanted to have a good time.

Looking for something serious can be a good thing. We look for certain qualities like intelligence, success, wit. But in a time when divorce rates are above 50% we should all be looking for someone with whom we can have fun. Fun! Remember? Laughing, dancing, chasing each other at the beach.

It’s important to know what you want and to not waste your time, but you have to let go of your concerns for an initial period of one to three months. Have a good time while you slowly and organically get to know that other person.

When you develop a strong emotional bond you are creating the foundation for a future. You are creating something to turn to when the trials and tribulations of marriage and kids come into play. Otherwise, why bother? None of us want to end up in a relationship that was convenient until it was easier to just walk away.

So relax! If you worry and try to make things happen then they won’t. Surrender to the experience you share and enjoy each other. Otherwise the person you are with will be scared away by the pressure. I have heard it said that life is a balance of holding on and letting go. Let go of the questions and hold onto that part of you that can simply feel whether that person is the lover that you’ve been searching for.

David is our resident Zen guru here at SpeedDate. He’s late bloomer who has come a long way since his first kiss at 17. He has since dated both on and off-line and considers himself a bit of a digital casanova. David marries a spiritual spin on matters of the heart with the wit he develops through his amateur stand-up comedy career.

A friend and I are out to dinner.  Afterwards, she decides to stop in at a Wawa.  Some guy decides to hit on her. So, she informs him that she is in a relationship. But…She has a friend who is single. (Read the single friend is ME). I’m trying to get out there, get to know people and meet potential dates. She screens him for me in text.  Afterward, she gives me his number, and then gives him some info and me some info, and I feel interested. Why not? I decide to text him and introduce myself and see what happens.

We didn’t talk much during the day (he works at night.) We meet at a Wawa, and at first my thought was, this guy is SO not my type. I like the geeky looking guys. But, I figure, I’ll sit and talk and try to get to know him. So, he gets a coffee, but the Latte machine is down and I choose not to get anything. We go outside and start chatting. Asked if I smoked? Nope. Is that a deal breaker? Sure is! What kind of music do I like? Anything but country. Well, we’re batting 300 here! He smoked and liked country. What was my friend thinking?

He asked if I wanted to get into his car as it was drizzling. We move to the car, but I kept my hand on the door, just in case. He asked questions and as I was answering, he would interrupt with comments of “your eyes are stunning!” “I love your voice!” “You have a beautiful smile!” I say thank you and as I couldn’t think of anything to say, I smiled. He asked more questions, seemingly immune to my disinterest. As I am answering it, he interrupts me again by running his fingers through my hair saying how beautiful my hair is!

Whoa. Ok, first of all, this is NOT a date! We’re meeting to see if there is anything there. What part of me leaning AWAY from him gave him the impression that I was interested? Time to go! So, I smile, look at that time and say, I have to go. Again, clearly missing the boat, he asks for a hug, and I relent and give him one of those one-armed hugs. You all know the one, right? Yeah. Apparently I was one of the best huggers he’s met. At this point I’m done, I’m NOT going to bed with him, so could he please stop trying with all the sweet pillow talk!?! THEN.. As I say, I really have to go, he tries to kiss me. Ick.  Again, NOT A DATE!! I know that some people don’t have to be on a date to do this, and I’ll admit, I’ve done it. But, I was completely NOT interested and didn’t give this guy any sign that I was. I ducked my head down, and he got my nose. I’m out.
He texted me later and said it was great meeting me and he couldn’t wait to see me again. Yeah, not so much. Oh! I forgot to add, during our get to know each other he asks me “do you like intimacy?” Ummm, really? Yikes!

So much for getting back into the scene…better luck next time!

About the author: Jacqui Stewart is a Single Mom who works fulltime as well as works as a Blogger, Freelance Writer, Product Reviewer and Social Media Consultant.  She is the founder and writer/reviewer of www.singleparentretreat.com among several other blogs.  She likes to stay busy when her daughter is not with her.

Just two days after our first date, James invited me to his apartment, where a few of his friends had ordered pizza and were drinking beer. We’d exchanged more than a few text messages in the scant 48 hours since our first date, but still, I’d spent much of that time thinking that I had imagined the feeling of comfort I’d had with James. It had to be something hormonal, I reasoned, because it just wasn’t normal to feel like I’d known someone for so long, not so immediately after meeting him. I tried to be level-headed: excited about this new guy I’d met but trying not to place expectations on date number two.

I walked over to his place, thinking this was definitely among the strangest online dating stories I’d heard. And again, as soon as I saw James, I had that odd feeling. He had a sexy, easy confidence. I really liked him.

I hadn’t really been thinking that I’d meet someone I’d like in such a short period of time. Besides, I hadn’t planned on dating anyone seriously until I’d finished grad school. At twenty-seven, I’d had two relationships that had lasted one and two years, and the rest of the time, I dated. I was bad at one night stands and very casual dating, but really good at steering-clear-of-making-long-term-plans monogamy. I usually dated men for two, three months. Someday, I knew, I’d want kids, to get married, and I figured that the fact that I knew what I wanted in the long term meant that I’d recognize the right guy when he came along. I didn’t want to push anything.

But I’d usually gone after men who were five, ten years older than me, somewhat macho, with questionable communication skills and the same vague fear of commitment I had. Good men, all of them, just somehow not right, in the end. I’d had fun dating these men, but things usually ended the same way: a widening distance based on the fact that we wanted desperately different things, which led to arguments and always, eventually, to a painful break-up.

That night was surprisingly low-stress, just James and his friends and me, chatting and sitting around a table on his patio. He played a great album that I’d never heard before and the twinkle lights he’d strung up around the railing of his balcony cast low light. When his friends left, I stayed. He was, as I was learning, kind of the opposite of the guys I usually dated. He was a skilled conversationalist, very disclosing, and had been in two serious relationships in his twenties. He was very close with his mother, who had divorced his father when he was a kid and raised him mostly on her own, and he was an only child. That night, I spent the night at his house and we had sex for the first time.

Regardless of where it was ‘going’ with James, I had to admit that we had chemistry. That much was clear.

 Guest post by the talented Lucy Amoree, a writer in the Big Apple.

So is the follow the strangest date ever? Probably not, but something was definitely missing, and it took me far, far too long to put my finger on it…

We met online. He was tall, 6’5″, a blond surfer-type who had traveled widely and had a great smile. I was cautiously optimistic, but reserved judgement because a great smile can mean many things, and his emails had lacked overt humor. He’d suggested that we meet at a bar called Heart. Charming, I thought.

I met him outside, a bit after dark. I liked his look as he ordered a drink. We weren’t totally hitting it off, but neither were there awkward moments of silence. At some point, he asked about my rock climbing adventures (something I’d called out in my online dating profile) and whether I went often. Innocuous enough, right? I blathered on about being spectacularly awkward on the wall, but loving the experience, and then asked the fated, “So, do you climb, too?”

It was at this point that he casually moved both hands onto the table in front of me and said, “Actually no. I don’t know if you noticed, but I only have 3 fingers on my left hand.”

I hadn’t noticed. What to do? Be considerate and ask if they were lost somehow or perhaps had simply never been? Or…what?

I stammered out something like, “Hmmmm….that’s no excuse. There are guys who climb with only one arm, let alone missing a few key digits!”

Thank god he laughed.

 Grab a bowl of life from the top shelf, add one awkward adolescent, two parts sporty spice, a dollop of sass, and finish off with sprinkle of sexy; bake, and you’ve just made a perfect batch of the lovely, talented and oh-so-delicious Hannah Russin.

Although we have five senses (and women a sixth), we rely on our vision more than any other. You may have spent hours carefully crafting your dating profile to woo that potential special lady away from the competition, but women will not read one word if they can’t get past your horrible profile pic.

Here are some tips that will help you look your best:

1)     Smile. We all want to have fun when we go on a date. We are looking for an escape from the pressures of the office, kids, responsibilities. Your smile will convey to that potential date that you are a fun fella. Your picture should say “Hey you! Yeah you at the keyboard! Look how handsome and pleasant I am. Go out with me and you will laugh and forget all your worldly troubles”. After all a picture is worth a thousand words and that’s only like 29.

2)     No women! Yeah, I get your logic: “if women see a picture of me with other women they will think that I know how to treat a lady”. Instead, think about your audience. Most women will wonder if that chick in the pic is a former or current lover and may think that you are a creep. Play it safe and choose a different photo. “But David, this picture of me with my sister is the best one ever taken of me and I really want to use it!” That’s fine, but only if you completely crop her out. That hand on your shoulder with the red nail polish is just as bad as seeing the whole woman.

3)     Take your time. I bet you’re excited, you just joined SpeedDate and you are looking forward to dating, texting, and video chatting with beautiful women. You don’t have time to stop, they are out there lining up to meet you! Slow down hotshot and look through your photos carefully. Choose a few that work well and edit them. Your computer probably came with some decent editing software or you can download a free trial of a program. You don’t have to be a software engineer to do this, just play around until you have a photo where you look your best. Change the color temperature to black and white or sepia. Bring up the contrast and adjust the clarity. Just make sure that it still looks like you. Remember that if things go well, you will eventually meet that pretty lady in the real world. You want her to recognize your handsome face.

4)     Video chatting. Great! Your photo looks amazing and you’re getting attention online. Your potential soulmate has invited you to video chat and you anxiously accept. Within minutes she seems disinterested. What happened!? You look around and notice that your shirt is stained, your hair is tousled and you have food in your teeth. There is a pornographic calendar hanging behind you and there are flies circling the pizza box that’s been on your desk for a week and a half. Don’t let this happen to you. Be presentable when you login and make sure that there is nothing offensive or strange in the video window. Conversely, feel free to place a conversation piece nearby. She might be impressed and prompted to ask about it… “Why yes, I do play the violin!”

Finally, the best advice that I can give you on your photo, profile information or anything else you post on a dating site is to ask a woman you know for honest feedback. You may feel like you know what women want but no amount of imaginative understanding can trump advice from an actual woman.

 David is our resident Zen guru here at SpeedDate. He’s late bloomer who has come a long way since his first kiss at 17. He has since dated both on and off-line and considers himself a bit of a digital casanova. David marries a spiritual spin on matters of the heart with the wit he develops through his amateur stand-up comedy career.

Join SpeedDate’s 17 million members to find love today!

The people at SpeedDate.com are promoting their iPhone application, SpeedDate: Real Dates in Real-Time, which is said to eliminate the waiting in dating by allowing singles to locate each other close by, in real time.

SpeedDate uses location-based search which lets you find nearby singles, like at the grocery store, in a waiting room, on the train, at the gym, and even at work, according to the developers.

“For anyone looking to meet someone special, our app provides access to SpeedDate.com’s 17 million members from wherever they are, and gives them the freedom to take that experience with them wherever they go,” said Simon Tisminezky, co-founder of SpeedDate.com.

“We’ve seen engagement numbers sky-rocket: People are using this app more than they use other social apps or dating sites, with 50% of users coming back more than three times a day to check in.”

Interested parties just download the free app from the iTunes App Store, install it and register with three taps.

In seconds they are connected to 17 million members worldwide, at which point the app’s new location-based filters kick in. allowing singles to find and chat with singles close by.

You can choose to begin a chat or, if you’re a bit shy, you can choose to “flirt” first by using the app’s Wink feature to let someone know they are interested.

Instant notifications keep members updated on who is checking out their profile.

Although approved in the App Store for quite a while now, SpeedDate: Real Dates in Real-Time is only now being promoted by the developers.

The app also got an update recently. Version 1.5 brings improved date mechanics, faster loading time for profile images and graphical updates for smoother browsing.

Dating can be a hard task.  Throw in being a single parent?  Make that about 10 times harder.  There are many things you have to take into consideration either dating AS a single parent, and dating a single parent.  Here are some things you should be aware of…

As a Single Parent, dating do’s and don’ts:

Do:

1 – Accept recommendations from friends, families and co-workers.  This is a great source of connections.  The potential dating partner has already been pre-screened.
2 – Keep an open mind. Even if the potential dating partner lives at home with the parents, in today’s economy, if they have that option, may be the smarter thing.
3 – Listen to your friends.  They are your friends for a reason and will have your back.
4 – Go slow.  You have your children to consider.

Don’t:

1 – Don’t meet in an unpopulated area.  You cannot be too cautious.
2 – Don’t introduce your children right away.  They attend to form attachments easily.
3 – Don’t act like someone else.  Be yourself!  They wanted to go out with you for a reason.  Let the real you shine.
4 – Don’t ignore red flags.  If something feels off, it usually is.

When Dating a Single Parent:

Do:

1 – Be patient.  There are going to be times a date will have to be cancelled due to something coming up with the children.
2 – Be honest.  If you feel that you cannot handle being second or third in someone’s life, let them know right away.  Dating someone with children is a package deal.
3 – Do be kind.  If you get to the point you are introduced to the children, be kind to the children and interact with them slowly at first.

Don’t:

1 – Don’t like kids?  Don’t date the parent.  The children will not be going anywhere.  They will win every time.  As they should.
2 – Don’t do sleepovers if the children are with the parent you are dating.  Unless of course you are engaged to be married.  Children are very impressionable, and after being told from the time they’ve had the “talk” not to sleep with someone unless you are married, this sends mixed signals.
3 – Don’t ignore the other parent.  This can be either a short term/long term relationship killer with the child.  Never bad mouth the other parent, no matter how much you don’t like them.  That is their parent and may seem just as bad as talking bad about the child.

Once you go over these Do’s and Don’ts, you should be prepared as a single parent to jump in the dating pool.  Just remember to stay true to yourself and everything will work out they way they should.

About the author: Jacqui Stewart is a Single Mom who works fulltime as well as works as a Blogger, Freelance Writer, Product Reviewer and Social Media Consultant.  She is the founder and writer/reviewer of www.singleparentretreat.com among several other blogs.  She likes to stay busy when her daughter is not with her.